After my dentist appointment this morning, I drove by, for the first time in 30 years, the house where my first love and I lived. Seems like another life. Did that really happen? So many memories. Some so sweet & special, I only dare to remember them when I feel strong.
Not a lot of bad memories floated up, but a few of the worst times in my life happened in that house. While going through the breakup, I remember thinking that this is what people must be describing when they speak about having a nervous breakdown. It’s a terrible weight loss program. I’ve never felt that before or since, even with the many family deaths I’ve experienced. What compounded the whole incident was that I wasn’t out to my family and only out to a few select friends. That was extremely hard to get through. I felt so alone.
It’s a testament to us humans that we are so resilient and willing (or not) to try again.
As I drove away, I wondered what made me want to drive by that house again. Maybe it was Adele playing softly in the background. Maybe it was because I took a right instead of a left out of the dentist’s parking lot. Really though, I’m thankful. She was and is a great person and we’re friends today (aren’t most lesbians friends with exes? If we weren’t, we wouldn’t have this rich tapestry of wonderful people in our lives). Both of us did good for ourselves. It all worked out.